The Toe Poke Daily is here every day to bring you all the weirdest stories, quirkiest viral content and top trolling that the internet has to offer, all in one place.
Whether it be dogs, kittens, grumpy pandas or rainbow-coloured vomit, Snapchat has a filter for absolutely everyone and everything these days.
To that end, we have taken it entirely upon ourselves to run the Premier League’s “Big Six” managers through the baby face filter just to see what they’d all look like.
The results, as they say, might shock you — and, especially in Jurgen Klopp’s case, slightly haunt your dreams for the rest of eternity.
Aston Villa caught up in Drake vs. Pusha-T beef
It’s not very often that you see English football clubs getting pulled into high-profile rap feuds. However, Aston Villa have quite unwittingly found themselves embroiled (if only in a very peripheral sense) in the ongoing hostilities between Drake and Pusha-T.
On Wednesday night, Toronto Raptors played Milwaukee Bucks in Game 5 of the 2019 Eastern Conference Finals with Mallory Edens, daughter of Bucks owner Wes Edens, sat courtside.
Mallory just so happened to be wearing a Pusha-T shirt, which was presumably a reference to the rapper’s inflammatory 2018 squabble with Drake, who just so happens to be an ambassador for the Raptors. The Raptors ended up beating the Bucks, which led Drake to seek retribution by changing his Instagram profile pic to one of Mallory along with a message on his story saying “all is fair in war and war.”
In the photo, Mallory can be seen wearing an Aston Villa shirt, and not just any Villa shirt — specifically a retro replica of the 1981-82 European Cup winning jersey, which is niche to say the least.
While it may seem a little odd on the surface, it’s probably worth mentioning that Wes Edens, Mallory’s father, is also co-chairman of Villa and has been since July last year. As such, he could be a Premier League chief next season, if they can win Monday’s Championship playoff against Derby (live on ESPN+).
England’s WWC squad put into boot camp
Amazing stories, amazing experience, amazing memories.
— Lionesses (@Lionesses) May 24, 2019
Hoping to better their third-placed finish last time out, the England Women’s squad are seriously being put through their paces in preparation for the upcoming FIFA Women’s World Cup.
After reporting for training at St George’s Park, the Lionesses were surprised to find that manager Phil Neville had invited the Royal Marines to take the session.
According to BBC Sport, the players were instructed to surrender their phones before undergoing a gruelling array of military drills and exercises — culminating in them being made to build a camp for the night using nothing but standard issue rucksacks, rations and tarpaulin.
“We went through some logical challenges, some brain-teasers and a few physicals to try and test us under pressure and see how we cope as a team,” forward Georgia Stanway said.
The squad also listened to the stories and experiences of injured amputees, two of whom lost legs while on active service.
“It gives us a reality check. When we moan that we have a niggle, or our foot is hurting as I have a bruise, it put things in perspective. I think it has been good for us,” striker Beth Mead added.
England are due to play pre-tournament friendlies against Denmark and New Zealand this month before flying out to France for the World Cup, where they will begin their Group D campaign against Scotland on June 9.
Balotelli models ‘Le Flow de Marseille’
Pour l’amour du maillot 🔵⚪
Démarque toi et shop le nouveau maillot OM saison 1⃣9⃣/2⃣0⃣
— Olympique de Marseille (@OM_Officiel) May 24, 2019
‘Tis most definitely the season of the kit unveiling and Olympique Marseille are the latest big name to unveil their new 2019-20 clobber to the waiting world.
With Mario Balotelli front and centre, the Ligue 1 side have debuted their new home shirt — a svelte, simplistic white design with subtle blue pinstripes.
Given that Balotelli’s short-term, six-month contract (signed in January) is set to expire in the coming weeks, perhaps it’s a little risky to be featuring him so prominently?
Anyway, after finishing up way down in sixth place, some 33 points off champions Paris Saint-Germain, L’OM will no doubt be hoping their new streamlined look will spur an improved performance next season.
Jutkiewicz goes on stag do in style
— Hayden Atkins (@BrummieHayden) May 24, 2019
Many a bachelor party has featured the groom on the receiving end of some questionable clothing choices, courtesy of his friends, but Lukas Jutkiewicz did things a little differently as he headed off to party.
Spotted at Luton airport, the Birmingham striker was resplendent in his “work uniform,” dressing in his club’s home kit. One question though, Lukas: Where are your boots?